Softee
by GirlCrushonAli
Summary: Tenten's first kill and the reaction of our favorite Hyuuga.


I was fifteen the first time that I killed someone.

I knew what I was doing was for my friends, duty, and life, so it really did not affect me as much as you would think. I tossed a kunai through the head of an enemy that was about to skewer Lee without even thinking about it. Gai sensei afterwards wanted to discuss my first kill, and even Neji gave me one of his patented stares of doom, but I was perfectly fine. I had killed and didn't feel upset at all.

I started as your average genin, not reaching chunnin until fourteen. I had to wait until I was thirteen to take the test, so that seems like a fair amount of time. D and C rank missions don't involve killing. That would be reserved for B rank, but even a B rank rarely includes killings. Killing is reserved for A and S rank missions. Even ninjas do not like to kill. They expect only extremely strong minds to be capable of handling the challenge.

As such, it is a B rank escort mission to the Sand Village when I first kill a man. Poor Lee didn't sense the missing nin behind him—he always had trouble sensing chakra due to his under-developed coils. Neji and I both knew about this weakness, so we always tried to watch Lee's back. That's what a three man team is for. We rarely will do solo missions until we are junins. Lee is not a junin yet, so his failure to sense his opponent isn't really a problem.

As it goes, we are watching a group of bandits—well, Neji is with his Byakugan-- when we hear a sound to our left. Lee and I go together to investigate, as the source is just outside Neji's range of divination.

There's a sudden shaking and a mud wall springs up between me and Lee. Lee breaks it fairly quickly with a swift kick, but it gives enough time for the enemy to get behind us.

Apparently the bandits had hired a missing nin to assist in their wrapping-up of any ninjas before retiring and returning to their families. No one knew this fact when giving us the mission, or else it may have been ranked higher. No one wants to endanger a team, even as strong as ours, with a miss-ranked mission.

Lee and I instantly engage the man, forcing him into Neji's vision, and calling for the back-up of Gai sensei and Neji without words. Neji will see the situation and they will come.

He is smug and confident until Gai and Neji appear behind him. Only a swift replacement saves him from Gai sensei's dynamic entry. Neji's fifteen-year-old death glare seems to have an effect on him, too--surprising, as our enemy looks to be at least twenty.

He's good, but we are better. Maybe he was even a prodigy of his village before going solo. I'm not great with village symbols, but I recognize the symbol for rock and the easy line through it.

He disappears into the trees shortly after our reinforcements frighten him. He attacks from afar, not realizing that Neji can see him and that although Neji, Lee, and Gai and short-range fighters, I can do mid and long range. Within moments of disappearing Neji signals me his location and I send a volley of senbon and shuriken at his location.

He falls toward the ground with a scrape on his left shoulder, righting himself in the air and staring at me with obvious hatred. Neji growls in response, a sure sign that he can see that the missing nin is angry.

The missing nin disappears once more, this time replacing himself with mud clones. Neji has a bit of trouble telling them apart, as he is unfamiliar with the enemy. If I were to make a mud clone, he would pick it out in seconds from the real me, but this enemy is skilled.

I try to sense his chakra, trying to prevent any of the typical earth-based jutsus from trapping me. The ground is my greatest enemy, as even Neji cannot see through the earth.

This is how he sneaks up on the unsuspecting Lee. A chakra signature is even more difficult to sense below ground, and near impossible for Lee. As it is, the missing nin sneaks behind Lee and manages to get an arm around Lee holding a kunai before Lee can even react.

When I take in the situation I don't hesitate. The missing nin could easily just kill Lee, so I need to act quickly. I know from experience how bloody kunai can be against friends.

If he wore his forehead protector in the traditional manner, then he might have lived. As I recall, the forehead protector was on his neck.

I sail a kunai through the air before the nin has a chance to speak. His death will cause Lee to be twitchy for a week. Lee is a bit too shocked to respond. For me, I just need to retrieve my kunai. Gai sensei looks stern for once, and stares at me. I don't remember ever seeing Gai-sensei actually throw a weapon before . . . perhaps he is disturbed by the blood.

The nin is on the ground now—staring upward into a deep nothingness. Eyes that are unfocussed are scary. That sort of reminds me of Neji for just a moment. I pull the kunai from his forehead, which is a bit harder than it sounds to do. Brain matter and skull are not easy to pluck a kunai from.

I run a quick check on Lee, and he seems all right—just spooked. Gai sensei will take care of that later with some crazy training. By tonight, Lee will not be able to remember this incident and will collapse onto his sleeping roll without a thought in the world. He probably won't even dream.

I, as opposed to Lee, will probably be coddled for this. The Hokage will want me to speak with someone. That's the way it always seems to be for girls. Why they always think that we are emotional is beyond my comprehension. Lee is the one who might need to see a doctor, I just want to be able to continue on missions.

"Your first kill."

I look at Neji and his expressionless face . . . and eyes. He first killed was as a genin at twelve. It was against that weird spider guy who wanted to kill his friends too. Neji probably didn't have to listen to people worry over him afterwards.

"Yes, although it would have been nicer if it were less messy. Sorry about that, Lee."

By silent agreement we finish the mission without talking about the incident. I'm right that at night Lee collapses from exhaustion into a deep sleep, while I take first watch. My attacks are less physically exhausting compared to those of Gai, Lee, and even Neji.

I'm staring at the fire when he comes and sits beside me. I know that he is tired and I don't particularly want his company. Everyone thinks that I am in love with him as it is, and I really don't want Gai and Lee getting similar thoughts.

"Did it bother you?" We both know what he is referring to.

"No, Neji. I'm not some weak person who cannot handle a little blood. This is what I do. I chose weapons. Weapons kill in not pretty ways. It's just how it is."

He stares at me then. I can see it in the fire-light. I never understood why he so often gives me those looks. I can never tell if he is angry or annoyed. That was about his range of emotion before Naruto came along. He stares at me even more now. Today perhaps he is just disappointed. Maybe he expects me to be upset just like Gai-sensei.

"What do you want, Neji?"

He stares at me again and goddess his eyes are starting to remind me of the dead nin's! He's probably doing it on purpose to frustrate me. I don't need coddling, especially not from _the_ Hyuuga Neji.

"You know why I'm here."

Trust a Hyuuga to refuse to speak on his feelings. He really is concerned then.

"Why would you even care Neji? I completed the mission and this incident did not interfere with my abilities. Isn't that what matters?"

If he keeps staring at me like that I swear that I am going to strike him. I'd lose in a taijutsu spar, but I can hit as hard as Sakura when she's mad. Just one good hit and he'll think twice about bothering me again.

"It is necessary to ensure that my teammates are mentally well."

"Neji so help me . . . if you keep this up I really will hit you. There's nothing for you to be concerned about. If it were Lee, then you wouldn't be here. You'd go inside and go to sleep. That's it. That's all you need to do now."

He's doing it again and my frustration must be showing. Whether I'm red from the heat of the fire or anger I'm sure that not even he can tell. I'm reaching for my senbon when he speaks again.

"You are Tenten. Tenten is not Lee." He starts explaining to me like a child. I don't expect the last part.

"I . . . care for you both . . . in different ways." _The_ Hyuuga Neji just said that he cares for us. Holey mother of . . . he must have changed even more than we thought. I'm too shocked to hit him, or throw anything now.

Neji must really care if he is saying this. There's no way that a Hyuuga would discuss his feelings openly like this.

I stare at him saying nothing. He isn't looking at me anymore, but at the fire. The silence isn't uncomfortable, but I'm sure that he wants me to speak. He'd prefer it that way, but not even Neji can always get his way.

"I was . . . frightened today."

'Hyugas don't get scared,' I think to myself as I roll my eyes.

"I did not believe that the enemy would kill Lee. Lee is too fast and Gai-sesei and I could have stopped him."

Confidence in himself, but not me, huh?

He looks up at me now, "It was . . . unexpected that you would kill the nin. I did not believe that you would do it without thought. I never believed that Tenten could kill so easily. . . . " His words are speeding up in his nervousness. They're coming easier now, but he is obviously uncomfortable with himself. He's staring at the fire again.

Neji is the disturbed one. He could have lost Lee and he is afraid of losing me to something else. Self-loathing perhaps?

I can't help but smile. I hope that Neji doesn't see. He would believe that I am laughing at him.

"Neji." I need him to look up at me. When he does, there is sadness in his eyes, but Hyuugas never cry

"Neji, I killed him for you, for Lee, and for Gai-sensei. I care for each of you. I will kill to protect you." I'm trying to convey to him what words cannot. I'm not going to change. I'm the same Tenten. The same Tenten that loves her teammates has not changed. I'm strong enough now to protect them. I always would have been the one to kill for them if I could. I would have killed that spider-guy myself to protect him. I wasn't strong enough then, but I am now. My first kill would have been before his if I had been stronger.

Neji doesn't smile. I don't think that he has learned to as of yet. His lips sometimes turn up, but even that is exceedingly rare. Instead, Neji's face softens as he comes to understand. He hasn't lost Tenten, his teammate, friend, and more.

"Just go to bed, Neji." I say with a smile. "I'm sure that Gai-sensei is going to give me a big long lecture tomorrow and you're going to sit through it too if you keep doubting me."

A last "Hn," and he's back to his stoic self.

God, he's such a softee when no one is around.


End file.
